The woman is said to be the real backbone of any relationship, especially the committed ones. It is through a woman that a man becomes his best.Â But sadly, not all relationships regard the woman as someone to be respected and cared for. There are women all over the world who experience abuse in every form. Whether it is verbal, financial, mental, or physical abuse, women tend to be the most immediate victims of such terrible acts by the men that they have entrusted their lives to. With this, something has to be done.
Abuse needs to be stopped in every household that experiences it. This is a group effort because it is really hard to put a stop to abuse once you are tied to the committed relationship, and once you have children to consider. As a battered woman, you should not tolerate violence inside your home. This directly affects you and your children both physically and mentally. You already know that you should seek proper abuse help the moment your husband or partner hurts you physically.Â You should make your move for you and your children. Here are the things that you should remember when you seek and acquire abuse help:
1)Â Â Â Â Â You deserve respect, happiness and love
If you are thinking twice about seeking abuse help, donâ€™t. You deserve to be respected and loved. You deserve to be in a happy, stress-free relationship. It is every womanâ€™s dream to be in a committed, blissful relationship. Your home should be an ideal environment to raise your children. You do not deserve physical or emotional beatings. Your children do not deserve to grow up witnessing that everyday. You know you should seek abuse help. Donâ€™t let fear overwhelm you.
2)Â Â Â Â Â It will always happen again
Many abusive relationships continue because the women always think that their abusive partner will change. This actually never happens most of the time. The â€œchangeâ€ may start for a while but inevitably, they will revert back to how they treat you before. They would start hurting you again and the vicious cycle repeats itself. You donâ€™t have to go over the entire thing again once you get abuse help that you deserve. Remember this and you will be on your way to a new life.
3)Â Â Â Â Â Know how and where to escape
Your home is your fortress. It can either confine you for your abusive partnerâ€™s benefit, or you can find out particular areas that you could use to protect yourself or your children. As much as possible, when your partner starts to be violent or angry already, do not escape to the bathroom or to the kitchen. In the bathroom, you will just be trapped because it is a closed space. In the kitchen, there are knives that your partner could use to hurt you more. To contact abuse help, escape to the houseâ€™s exit door or to a room where the phone is located.
When you see that there are already signals that your partner is going to have a violent fit already, then think of a very believable alibi to leave the house with the children or even when you are alone. Donâ€™t ever let your partner know that you will escape or you will never be able to get abuse help at all.
4)Â Â Â Â Â Establish a code
You should establish a code that indicates people around you or those close to you that you are in trouble. Think of words that you could easily slip in a conversation so that the person you talk to through a phone, a chat session, or in person will be able to know that you are in need of abuse help.
5)Â Â Â Â Â Know how to make a call
In making a call to get abuse help, make sure that you avoid a cordless phone. You should use a prepaid card or call collect. You should also get your very own cell phone and set it to silent or vibrate mode and auto-answer mode. This could help you get abuse help right away even if you are locked in a closed room.
6)Â Â Â Â Â Be careful with using the computer
If you are at home or with your abusive partner and you are using your computer, make sure that you change your username and passwords all the time, be careful with your chat boxes. Do not save any file from your abuse help counselor into your home computer. As much as possible, use a computer located outside your home, in public places or in your abuse protection shelter.
7)Â Â Â Â Â Keep your new location a secret
When you manage to escape and find an abuse help shelter, then it is a must that you keep your new location a total secret. Never disclose your personal information (even your name) to the shelter itself or to anyone you are close to. You canâ€™t afford to be rediscovered by your abusive partner.
8)Â Â Â Â Â Issue a retraining order
You could issue a restraining order against your abusive partner. You could ask your abuse help shelter to help you get this. But a restraining order could only work if the abuser violates it or if it gets reported. You have to really be in danger before the authorities plunge into the situation. Just make sure that you know everything about how restraining orders are implemented in your area. If the abusive partner does not get hauled into jail, then you only upset him more and may result to a higher level of getting back at you.
Consider these things and make them work if you decide to get proper abuse help. Abuse in any form should not be experienced by anyone, especially by a woman for her overall health and well-being. Be empowered and be brave to fight for your life.